The Origins of
Dr. Beaverkill’s Magic Elixir of the Hellgrammite
The Elixir is a special brew of Native Delaware River Hellgrammites gathered at the peak of ripeness. These hellgrammites are world renowned (in Old Saybrook) for their healing and curative powers. Read on for testimonials from our users!
I used to be very self conscious of my hair loss, after using Dr. Beaverkill’s elixir I forgot that I had a head, it took me three weeks to remember my name, I have just started to speak again, I highly recommend Dr. Beaverkill’s magic juice—Chuck Bernier
I was born with an outy belly button, having an outy is a serious disability and has significantly reduced my ability to collect bellybutton lint. After one topical application of the Elixir, I have an innie you could drive a bus through! - Paul “Corkage” Sweeney
My Back Cast was an abomination to man, god and everything holy, I purchased the Elixir and after consuming the appropriate measure my back cast was no worse than before and I can now curse in 5 languages! - Joe “the Donut” Karbowski
My warts had become debilitating, after one topical application of Dr. Beaverkill’s Elixir my warts have disappeared with most of my skin, I can rest comfortably knowing that the warts will never return! - Joe “please do not use my name” Fasulo
As you can see, Dr. Beaverkill’s Magic Elixir of the Beaverkill will cure what ails you. Squeezed from the finest hellgrammites by Monrovian women with thick calves, the Hellgrammite juice is distilled and triple filtered for purity. Use this recipe book as a guide to better living through the elixir!!